I'll Be The Hero!
by Kye Above
Summary: Death Note Parody. High School student Alfred Jones finds an awesome notebook that can somehow kill people. Alfred decides that he'll be a hero, and use it to help his country. But he'll have to deal with a very English detective, hired by the government, who suspects him...of everything but being the killer he seeks.


"Everyone! I have an awesome idea of how to end Global Warming." Alfred F. Jones stated with a proud grin. Most of the other students in the classroom already weren't paying attention, either immensely disliking Alfred, or finding the entire assignment or school in general not worth their time. These students would be the ones working minimum wage jobs in the near future and for the rest of their life.

"Continue, Mr. Jones." said the teacher, moving his glasses up higher on his nose.

"Okay, so my idea is that we build a giant robot, and send him into space to protect the Earth from the harmful rays of the sun!" He stated proudly, holding up a picture of his proposed idea, not noticing the classes' reaction at first. There was either indifference, or repressed laughing that wasn't held back for long. "Hey, why is everyone laughing? That was a serious idea!"

"Why don't we just destroy the sun?" Someone who hadn't done the assignment said jokingly and stupidly. "And you could work on your drawing skills a bit, I say!" By this point, more people were laughing. But Alfred didn't even flinch.

"Class, calm down." Mr. Edelstein commanded, standing up. He then glanced at Alfred. "Mr. Jones, that was a wonderful idea. Now, please return to your seat, so the next person may present." Alfred compiled, his cheery disposition barely changed, but no else stood up to take his place. "Has no one else other than those who have already come up finished their assignment on Global Warming?" There was silence from the class. "I'll take this as a 'No'. Very well then. All that presented their assignment may leave early. Those that didn't must stay behind and write extra notes."

A lot of the class collectively groaned, but most of those who were allowed to leave cheered, Alfred the loudest of them all. He collected up all his things, and raced out the door, only slowing enough that his friend Kiku could catch up. That had been the last class for the day, meaning he could go home early.

Eventually, Kiku jogged up beside him, and Alfred slowed so they could keep pace. Kiku really was one of his only friends, because for some reason, few else wanted to. Not once did it dawn on Alfred that most people didn't like being around him.

"I agree with what you've said Alfred-san." Kiku said, rather monotonously. Alfred grinned more.

"Thanks buddy! Oh, did you like the drawing? Peter drew it for me!" Kiku nodded, deciding that it was best to just agree.

As the two made it to their lockers, Alfred sprouting all kinds of nonsense the entire way there, they passed by a group of girls, who caught Alfred's attention. Due to his good looks, he assumed that he was very popular with females. It was the opposite, actually. Kiku grabbed his shoulder before he could approach.

"I advise you to listen to what they are saying."

"What? Why?" But he did anyway, thinking that it was some weird way of picking up girls. What he heard wasn't very interesting, since he heard the same kind of story so often on the news.

"Seriously? He got arrested for selling prescription drugs? Darling and innocent Matthew Williams? I don't believe it!"

"Yeah, but I don't think he'll go to jail, though his career is probably ruined. Celebrities like him don't get punished like we do. It's kind of sickening."

"It is, but does he really count as a celebrity?"

"Athletes also apply in this kind of situation."

"True."

Alfred finally pulled Kiku away, mentally declaring the conversation no use to him. Kiku protested at first, but quickly gave up.

"What's with the interest in some dumb athlete?" Alfred asked as he dragged his Japanese friend along. "I thought you weren't interested in sports like I am!"

"It is simply because of who Matthew-san is. One of my cousins claims to know him quite well. From what I know of him, he doesn't seem to be someone to be selling anything illegal." Alfred scoffed in response.

"Kiku, this isn't like in one of your animes! Don't go all detective on me! He's just another person bringing a bad name to sports!"

"Well-" Kiku started to say, but Alfred wouldn't let him finish.

"Dude, if you're going to try to argue with me, I might as well go home alone." Alfred said, crossing his arms.

"But….nevermind. Let us get going." Kiku sighed, and the two finally made it too their lockers. When Alfred had opened his, he tossed his unneeded books in with little care, and grabbed his 'school' skateboard from the back.

"You know? I think I'll ride to the store, and pick up some stuff for my brother. He totally deserves something after making me that awesome drawing!" Alfred said, thinking fondly of the eager boy. Kiku agreed silently once again, grabbing his own things, his bag already much heavier than his friend's. "I'll catch you later, Kiku!" Alfred said with a grin, before taking off for the front entrance.

"Such immaturity. It sometimes amazes me how well he does in school." Kiku muttered to himself, taking a manga out of his locker, closing the door behind him, before leaving in the same direction as Alfred had run.

* * *

Hours later, Alfred would find himself finally back home, a grin on his face as he arrived through the door with new books for his twelve year old brother. He wanted to see Peter smile. He loved seeing a smile on his little brother's face, which had been rare for the longest time, ever since their mother had died, and left them to be cared for by their stepfather.

"Peter!" He called into the hopefully not empty house. Their step father wouldn't be arriving from work for another few hours, and Peter sometimes went out with his friends until even later. But he was met with a response from the living room.

He regretted entering the room, as he found Peter watching a horror movie. Not wanting to appear weak in front of his little brother, who he was supposed to be strong for, he handed the bag new books he had gotten, trying to keep his gaze off the television. Peter smiled, showing his gratitude.

"Thanks big brother!" Peter whispered-yelled, and at the sixteen year old's questionable look, Peter pulled back the lump of blankets beside him to reveal his best friend Raivis, asleep. "He stayed up all night. He deserves the rest." He stated in the same voice as before.

Alfred nodded, vacating the room now that his goal was complete.

* * *

In a flipside dimension to Earth, there was a world where beings called Shinigami, or Death Gods/Spirits lived. The Shinigami watched the human world through a special portal, for only two big reasons: Entertainment, because the Shinigami realm was quite boring, and Sightseeing, which was used for two things - that was simply marveling at the accomplishments of the humans, and finding ones to kill. All Shinigami had the ability to kill a human with the use of a special notebook, called a Death Note, using only the face and name of the human.

These Shinigami had many habits that most humans would see as very odd. One of the most outlandish of all those had to be the habit they gained recently of them calling themselves the names of Earth countries. Mostly, this was just for their amusement, but many of their real names, which were each given to them at the time of their creation, were so strange that even they eventually found them unthinkable.

The King of the Shinigami couldn't stand the thought of being know as such an unromantic name, so he referred to himself as France, the most glamorous place on Earth, in his eyes. He'd spent many years watching that particular country, that it would just be unreal to choose any other name. All the Shinigami picked the names of countries they believed themselves most like.

So when one of the Shinigami, who was considered creepy even by their standards, picked the name of Russia, everyone had reason to be afraid. But they shouldn't have been. Russia just wanted them to be his friends. He wanted them forever.

But he was boring of them all. He wondered what the human world was like first hand, but a Shinigami couldn't leave the Shinigami realm unless their Death Note was in the hands of a human first. So with a small smile, he threw it into the portal in front of him, not caring where it landed, or who it was picked up by.

And so, Russia waited.


End file.
